Fear of Mediocrity

The Lyrical Lesbian

blog.apollorootcause.com

Mediocrity is a word that I’ve feared before I even knew how to pronounce it.  Ever since teachers began scribbling grades on assignments and I had classmates to compare my performance with, I’ve always unconsciously sprinted in the opposite direction of mediocrity.  If you were a product of my household then you would bring home nothing less than excellence or face some dire consequences.  From childhood throughout my intermediate studies and experiences, the thought that I may in fact be mediocre never crossed my mind.  No, this was not due to the millennial byproduct  Special Snowflake Syndrome, but rather being raised under the rule that producing what is expected of you (excellence) does not qualify for reward(s).  However, as I continue to get older and am surrounded by unmatchable personalities in real life and on the Internet, I find myself thinking… do I reek of mediocrity?

Mediocrity…

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Fear of Mediocrity

Are You Going Crazy? Dementia?

No. You are not going crazy. There are circumstances that keep you in a constant state of change.  You are always doing things for others and not ever really focused on one thing. There are so many things going on in your mind that you don’t known what to do. I am not at all too happy with my performance lately either which is why I am giving special attention to myself and not care for the chaos that goes on day by day in this house. I notices lately that I have been forgetting things and misspelling words. The only time I get it right is when I notice it and I am extra careful to focus on what I am doing. We are always so busy here in america and the way they use marketing to implant these messages and fear into our subconscious is not making it any better. What I am telling you is SLOW DOWN and FOCUS! You will be okay.Don’t let people throw their demands on you and stop demanding so much from yourself. Stop trying to do 10 things at once and take on someone else’s load for them. You are overdoing it. Slow and steady wins the race.

Are You Going Crazy? Dementia?

Tears For You

This is why I feel it is very important to pay respects to the ancestor and other spirits known and unknown. It is important that we let them know we care and we want the best for them. Alive or dead you want to know out of the said 7-9 billion people in this world that someone cares about you.

Who is she? The pilgrimess.

b7

Maybe you just have one of those faces, but people just don’t trust you. Whether or not you are what people say you are is irrelevant. It’s just your lot in life. Sorry.
“The town rallied in a frenzy, cornering her in a farmhouse which they lit on fire, but moments later, she miraculously crawled out, still alive and without a single burn upon her skin. The astounded townsfolk sentenced her to a slow death in the stocks. There she stayed for weeks while children stoned her, women cursed her, and men spat on her.”

Tears For You

Reconstructing the Wheel

I am learning

theAbysmal

Considering Symmetry in theAbysmal Calendar

Dividing the Year’s Quarters into 13 weeks That’s 91 days.

13 + 12 + 11 + 10 + 9 + 8 + 7 + 6 +5 + 4 + 3 + 2 + 1 = 91

The Quarter’s of the Year begin on or about the four Cardinal Points – the Northern Winter Solstice, Vernal Equinox, Summer Solstice and Autumnal Equinox. These times of year have long been observed. The four days that fall mid-Quarter, always on a Tuesday:

Tuesday Month  8 Day  3 (August 6th) falls on the first Tuesday of the Month.
Midway between the Northern Summer SOlstice & Autumnal Equinox

Tuesday Month 11 Day 10 (November 5th) – second Tuesday of the Month
Midway between the Northern Vernal Equinox and Winter Solstice

Tuesday Month  1 Day 17 (February 5th) – third Tuesday of the Month
Midway between the Northern Winter Solstice and…

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Reconstructing the Wheel

Depression

The movies will show you

Thirteen Ghosts

astrophone

Pay attention to the day and planetary hour. When you start to pay attention you will see the planets really do influence our moods. It is not just enough to know someone else’s sign but their  DOB and exact time of entrance into the world as well. It helps in dealing with people.

For example, I know on the day that is said to be a day for confrontation (mars) is the best day out of the week for me. Weird, but that is the observation that I have made over the last few weeks. Try it for yourself! See which days and hours make you yippity and which ones make you lethargic. These doctors now-a-days are not going to present this theory to you and I know I am not the only one who has ever thought about this. They want money so of course they are not going to give you this theory. Mix this with alternative medicine, aroma therapy, and silencing the mind (also know as meditation) you will be on your way to recovery the safe and natural side effect free way. Only in the U.S.A will you be dehumanized and labeled. God Bless America =(

Planetary Hours

http://hours.geocosmic.org/cgi-bin/chart/Input.exe?PARAM=RP&FINALFORM=ncgr.html

Time Travel with the soul is possible
Time Travel with the soul is possible
Depression

The Black Zodiac

If you died right now, which one would you be?

1 – THE JACKAL – Your original origins are unknown. With a head locked into a metal cage, you are the right hand of the Devil himself. Known as the Kaldicuck, you are nothing but teeth and claws, you are the beat of the number 666. Tracking and killing all those in the deepest bowels of Hell who remain unforgiven.

2 – THE JUGGARNAUT – You are ciminally insane. Emphasis on the ‘criminally’ part. Depicted as a man fill with bullet holes forver spilling maggots and blood the color of gasoline. You kill everyone and anything in your path simply by breaking them in pieces, literally, your favorite bone to break being the spine.

3 – THE GREAT CHILD & DIRE MOTHER – You are truly a member of evil but more so… vengence. Raised your son to be so huge and monsterous you sought to control him and kill all you wished with his immense power. Unfortunately, he proved to evil and untrustworthy for you, and both of you died within your own quarters.

4 – THE HAMMER – Manifestation of a crazed blacksmith. You are so tired of being treated poorly.. either for your race or beliefs, or sex. So you’ve begun to take it out on others. You went on a long killing spree and now prowl hell nail your victims to walls with rail-road spikes. As punishment given by the Divine, your body has been rejeted and you were given another strength, but immortal all the same.

5 – THE PILGRIMESS – You are never understood.. are you? Sentenced falsely to witch craft at a young age. You were forced to live in the stocks until your body died of exposure or the abuse of fellow townspeople. In the underworld you are a lunatic, permanently locked in bonds, hunting down anyone that cannot love you for waht you are.

6 – THE TORN PRINCE – You hate yourself. A handsome young man with everything going for you in life … Then one night you do something stupid and end up bodily dismanteled by the side of the road. You cannot forgive yourself for waht one night of drunken fun did. You are the ultimate of self-pity and decedance… sometmes thought to be the son of Satan himself. A betraryer to one’s self.

7 – THE FIRST BORN SON – You are quite angelic. And probably don’t even understand what’s been done to you.. And most likely never will. A young child, you were pierced through the head with a stray bullet and do not yet know you were dead far before your alloted time. Cursed to wonder barren fileds, sapping the life from anyone vulnerable enough to hold and comfort such a poor young lost child you seem when in reality you are a bloodhtirsty sucubine, stealing the body and soul of victims who attempt to cajole you.

8 – THE TORSO – You are often deciteful. You lied to very bad members of gangs and the underworld. For your crimes you were put on the rack, disembowled, and finally decaptiated. To keep littler evidence what was left of your body, nothing but a torso, was wrapped in celeophane, you crawl the tunnels of Hell accompanied by your head trying to plea your innoence, though you never can.

9 – THE ANGRY PRINCESS – Scarred in life by your true love, you committed sucide by slashing not only your wrist, but your entire body. Completely nude you travel through the moral realm. Haunting the heartbroken, and taking the lives of young girls in an attempt to regain your soul, forver lost in the depths of your black eyes beacuse of suicide.

10 – THE WITHERED LOVER – You are utterly taken fro granted in all that you do. You cared greatly for love, but your feelings were not returned. So deep inside your caring nature, you did not even notice as you began to deteiorate. You were burned in a terrible fire and died shortly there after in the ambulance. Your lover did not attend the funeral. You travel through Hell looking for anyone to love you, bound and gagged.

11 – THE BOUND WOMAN – You are truly pain, born with a severe from of Spinabifida, you spent your life in a metal contraption to restrict movement. Eventually the pain got so bad you lost your mind and suffered an agonising death. Now in hell, with popped eyeballs spilling sizzling blood, you screech through darkened halls, bestowing your very painful fate to others, over and over again.

12 – THE MERCILESS CHILD – You were left to be an orphan at a young age. Forced to travel with no other means you sold your body. Finally one night you were raped and murdered, that same night you sold your soul to the Devil. You prowl around churches and confessional booths, posing as a preist and taking the souls of thoose indulging in sexual acts.

13 – THE LOST SOUL – You do not forgive yourself for waht you did. Instead you wander the mortal world until one of the other ghosts finds you and consumes you entirely. You are a lost and heartbroken soul. The wholey pure. You are a sarifice to the Dark Divinity.

The Black Zodiac