It took me some time to get to this point. The point where I realize that all this time I have been dealt blow after blow and never acknowledged it until know. To acknowledge it and deal with each blow and to call yourself out on it and see what the role you and other players have played in this game called life or survival or the fittest, is to be free. I allowed this hurt to curl up in me and rot which over the years has made me somewhat of a rotten person. Remember, it all starts with you. It starts within. Just like good health is from the inside out. You are what you eat. If you eat bullshit or continue to put your energy into the bullshit nothing but bullshit will come of it! Bad enough it is in there (hurt, pain, embarrassment,resentment) like a tapeworm getting all your essential nutrients (self love, peace, happiness) you just keep feeding it wondering why you are not getting full and putting some weight in those curvy places that all the boys like. You are being deprived! After all this time you don’t think you need to go see the doctor? You didn’t think something was wrong? I had to acknowledge it at some point and now I am dealing with it. Feels great! It won’t happen over night but it will I will get there one step at a time.